The Body
by gleefan13
Summary: When Finn finds Mr. Schue on the floor of the choir room one thing becomes clear to him and to the rest of the glee club, everything can change in an instant. Based on the Buffy episode "The Body". Warning: Character Death
1. Part 1

_A/N: This fic is a fill for a prompt from the glee angst meme that asked for one of the gleeks to find Mr. Schue the way that Buffy found Joyce in the episode "The Body" and for the subsequent reactions of some or all of the gleeks. In addition to the general plot, a lot of the dialogue in this fic comes directly from that episode of Buffy, so a ton of credit goes to Joss Whedon. Also, for the record, much to my dismay, I do not own any of the Glee characters._

The Body - Part 1

Finn isn't exactly great at academic stuff, it's not like that's a big secret. He tries hard, well, when he's not being distracted by Puck or Mike or whoever else is in class with him, he tries hard, but trying hard doesn't always produce the desired results. He manages to get by in most of his classes but there's something about Spanish that always manages to trip him up. When Mr. Schue hands out assignments or tests he tends to just stare at the questions as if they're all in Spanish or something, which, okay, they actually are all in Spanish but that's what people say when they don't understand something, right? Luckily, as far as Finn is concerned, Mr. Schue is basically the most awesome teacher ever and so, when Finn fails his second test in a row, Mr. Schue doesn't tell him that he has no hope of passing the class he just offers to help him out after school.

Finn knows he should be bummed about having to stay late to work on school stuff, especially since he has to stay extra late because he has to go to football practice first, but he's not. Tonight will be his seventh study session with Mr. Schue and he's starting to think that he might actually have some hope of getting a half decent grade in the class, his mom is going to be so proud. Besides, Mr. Schue usually brings some kind of food and Finn's starving, football practice really builds up an appetite.

When Finn walks into the choir room he doesn't see Mr. Schue at first and he wonders if he's screwed up the day or time. The lights are on though and it's too early for the janitorial staff to be here yet so he walks further into the room. "Mr. Schue?" he calls out, not that there are really many places that the man could be hiding in the choir room.

He takes two more steps into the room and that's when he spots his teacher, laying on the ground partially obscured by the piano. "Mr. Schue?" There is no response.

He takes a few more steps forward until he can see the entirety of the man, his eyes are wide open and his skin is pale, almost bluish. Finn can feel his heart starting to beat faster as he involuntarily shivers. "Mr. Schue?" he tries again but there's still no response. Finn can't seem to move any further forward, it's as if he's frozen, he shivers again, "Mr. Schuester?"

He doesn't know how long he stands there unable to move, it feels like an eternity, but really it could be only a few seconds. Finally, he stumbles forward, dropping to his knees in front of Mr. Schue. He puts a hand on the man's arm first, shaking it gently, "Mr. Schue." When he still gets no response, his movements become more panicked, reaching with both hands he shakes the man's shoulders, "Mr. Schue, you got to wake up." He shakes harder, "Please wake up."

The shaking isn't working and Finn searches his panicked brain for some kind of answer about what he's supposed to do now. It hits him quickly, a pulse, he should check for a pulse. He fumbles, taking Mr. Schue's wrist in his hand and trying to find the pulse there. He can't find it and he panics again. Maybe he's doing it wrong? That's it, he's doing it wrong, he tries to calm himself. He leans his head down close to the man's chest, trying to see if he can hear his heart beating, but he can't. Maybe if his own heart wasn't beating so loudly in his ear, it would be easier to tell. After a minute, he's sure he can't hear anything and he sits up, the panic continuing to rise, "MR. SCHUE," he screams loudly, in desperation, hoping for some kind of response.

He sits there, his breaths coming in gasps for a moment before he gets up and moves quickly, albeit clumsily, to where he had dropped his bag earlier in his haste to get to the man. Fumbling through the bag he eventually finds his phone and flips it open. His hands are shaking so bad that it takes him three tries before he manages to actually dial 911.

The phone rings twice before there's a voice, "911, Emergency…"

"Hello?" Finn shouts into the phone a little too loudly, interrupting.

"Do you have…" the operator starts but gets interrupted again.

"It's my teacher, he's not…I don't think he's breathing," Finn rambles.

"Is he conscious?" The operator prompts.

Finn shakes his head before he realizes that the person on the other end can't see him. "No, he's not breathing, he's not…"

"Okay," the operator interrupts him this time. "I need you to give me your address."

"What?" Finn asks, his panic making it hard for him to process what's being asked of him.

"I'm going to send an ambulance over," the operator explains.

"Oh…it's the school, we're at the school," Finn pauses realizing that he still hasn't really said where they are. "William McKinley High School…it's a high school."

"I'm sending a unit right away," the operator explains calmly. "Are you alone at the school?"

Finn takes a shaky breath. "Yes."

"And did you see what happened? Did he fall?" The operator continues to prompt him.

"No…I just came…we were supposed to study and he just…" Finn tries to focus his thoughts but his brain is racing too fast for him to keep up with it. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Do you know how to administer CPR?" The operator asks him.

"I.." he thinks hard, they had that training at school, he's supposed to know this, right? "I don't remember."

"That's okay," the operator reassures him. "It's very simple. You want to tilt his head back. Cover his mouth with yours and breath into his mouth…"

Finn remembers then and he wants to hit himself. "I…I remember." How could he have forgotten about something as important as CPR? He should have started it right away. How could he not have done it right away? He drops the phone and quickly rushes towards Mr. Schue, kneeling in front of him again he quickly tilts the man's head back and blows twice. He then puts his hands to the man's chest and starts pumping. One, two, three, four, five, six, he counts to himself and then he hears a sickening crack. "Oh God," he says out loud. What has he done?

He scrambles, reaching for the phone that he dropped and pressing it firmly to his ear, his hands trembling only slightly. "Something cracked!" he shouts into the phone. "I did it too hard…" he trails off, pausing a second. "Are you there?"

"Hello?" The operator responds.

"Something broke!" He shouts into the phone again. He broke something, oh god, he broke something.

"Is he breathing?" The operator asks him.

"No!" Finn shouts again the panic continuing to bubble in his chest. Oh god, oh god, oh god, he chants in his head, almost missing what the operator says next.

"The paramedics should be there in a moment. You might have cracked a rib, it's not important…" the operator explains calmly before getting interrupted again.

"He's cold," Finn blurts out, not sure exactly why he says it. It's true though, as he'd tilted Mr. Schue's head back, he'd felt how cold his skin was. Maybe he needs a blanket.

The operator doesn't say anything for a moment. "The body is cold?"

The body? Finn's confused about what the operator means. "No, Mr. Schue, he's cold…should I make him warm?"

If Finn were thinking straight, he might notice the change in the tone of the operator's voice, the way the urgency leaves it, but he's not thinking straight at all and so he just nods to himself as the operator speaks. "No, if he's not responding to the CPR, best thing is to wait for the paramedics, okay?"

It's been so long already, it feels like an eternity has passed since he first walked into the choir room. Ambulances are supposed to be fast, right? "When are they going to be here?" He asks quietly, looking over at Mr. Schue's still form.

"They're nearby. Just hang on, it won't be long." The operator reassures him.

Finn's erratic panic is subsiding. His breathing is evening out and his heart beat is slowing. Before his thoughts were screaming at him but now they feel almost blank. He should probably call his mom, he's going to need a ride, Mr. Schue won't be able to drive him home like usual. Ya, he should call his mom. "I have to make a call," he says into the phone, hanging up before the operator can protest that he needs to stay on the line.

Finn dials his home number slowly, his fingers only trembling slightly. The phone rings once, twice, three times before someone picks up but it's not his mom on the other end. "I need my mom," he tells Burt in monotone.

"Finn?" Burt asks concerned about how unlike himself the boy sounds. "Your mom's out shopping with Kurt."

"But I need her to come…" Finn pauses a minute, thinking, before he asks, "Can you come?"

"Finn, buddy, what's going on?" Burt's concern is rising, when there's no answer from the other end he tries again. "I'm coming to get you okay? Are you still at the school?"

Finn isn't really concentrating on what Burt is saying, he can hear the sirens approaching, he needs to go outside and get them. "Ya the school. I got to go." He answers absentmindedly before hanging up.

Finn hurries outside just as the ambulance pulls into the parking lot. As the paramedics climb out of the vehicle, he waves at them, not sure what else to do. As they approach, he blurts out, "he's in the choir room," before turning and heading back into the school, leading the way, without another word.

Finn watches in silence as the paramedics rush over to Mr. Schue and start to work on him. He answers the questions they ask him in autopilot. _He's my teacher. Yes he was like this when I found him. No I don't know if he has a medical condition_. It doesn't feel real, it feels like he's watching a movie or something.

"He's cold man…" he hears one of the paramedics tell the other.

They continue to work on Mr. Schue for a bit but finally one of the paramedics says, "Call it." Before getting up and walking towards Finn.

"I'm sorry," he starts, addressing the boy.

"What else? What now? What do we..." Finn asks questions in quick succession.

"I'm sorry," the paramedic starts again, "but there's nothing we can do."

Finn scrunches up his brow, "but…I…"

The paramedic puts his arm on the boy trying to comfort him. "It looks like he did die a good while before you found him, there's nothing you could have done."

"What…" Finn tries to process what is being said but his brain really isn't working. Die. How could Mr. Schue just die, it makes no sense. The paramedic is still talking and he tries to concentrate.

"I'm gonna call it in, the coroner's office will come by to take him in and they'll determine the cause of death conclusively." He explains, stopping when his partner approaches with the equipment packed up.

"We got another call, we have to go," the other paramedic says, taking a second to look at the boy standing there. They really shouldn't leave him alone but they've got another emergency to get to. "Can we call someone for you?" He asks the teen.

Finn just stares a minute and then he remembers. Burt, Burt's coming. "Someone's coming," he tells them.

"Okay," the first paramedic tells him. "I'm gonna call right away, but the coroner's office could take a little while. The police may come too, for a report. In the meanwhile, you should sit, have some water... Try not to disturb the body…" he trails off, reminding himself that even though this boy is taller than him, he's really just a kid. "You're sure someone's coming?"

Finn nods, he's sure, Burt said he's coming, he's coming.

"We've got to go then," the second paramedic says and his partner follows him out.

Just like that Finn's alone, just him and…he looks over at Mr. Schue's still form and gulps. Suddenly he can feel the bile rising, he doesn't have time to find a toilet or a garbage can, he doesn't even have time to move, before he's doubling over and retching violently all over the floor. When the heaving finally stops, Finn straightens up, staring mystified at the mess he's made.

He's still staring vacantly at the floor when Burt finds him. The older man, who's clearly been running, stops dead in his tracks. "Finn? Buddy? Are you alright?" He asks quietly, worriedly.

Finn looks up and as his eyes meet Burt's, Burt can't help but notice how lost he looks.

"I…" Finn starts but he's not sure what to say.

Burt takes a couple of steps towards Finn and that's when he notices Mr. Schue. "Oh shit," he can't stop the profanity that leaves his mouth as he starts to move towards the prone form of the other man.

"No don't," Finn stops him. "They already tried," the volume of his voice rises, taken on an edge of hysteria. "They said you're not supposed to touch the body," he gasps as the word leaves his mouth. The body, it's so…so final. Like Mr. Schue isn't really Mr. Schue, like it doesn't matter about all of the awesome things he does…all of the awesome things he did…because now he's none of that, he's just a body. Finn begins to sob then, his shoulder hunching forward and his entire body shaking.

Burt quickly closes the gap between them, wrapping his arms around the boy and pulling him close with all of his strength. "It's okay. You're okay. It's going to be okay now." He repeats over and over and over again.

Finn just continues to sob. It certainly doesn't feel like anything is going to be okay.


	2. Part 2

_A/N: This fic is a fill for a prompt from the glee angst meme that asked for one of the gleeks to find Mr. Schue the way that Buffy found Joyce in the episode "The Body" and for the subsequent reactions of some or all of the gleeks. In addition to the general plot, a lot of the dialogue in this fic comes directly from that episode of Buffy, so a ton of credit goes to Joss Whedon. Also, for the record, much to my dismay, I do not own any of the Glee characters._

The Body - Part 2

Kurt and Carol show up just as the coroner is leaving. Burt is finishing up talking with a police officer, while Finn sits on the curb near Burt's truck with his chin resting on his knees and his eyes trained on the ground.

As soon as she sees Finn, Carole makes a beeline for her son. Immediately kneeling down and wrapping her arms around him, she worries when he doesn't react at all. "Honey, I'm so sorry I didn't get here sooner. Are you okay?"

When he doesn't say anything she gets even more worried. She pulls back from the embrace trying to get a good look at his face. She gently brushes some stray strands of hair out of his eyes. "Finn?" She questions softly.

He just watches her for what feels like an eternity before he finally speaks. "Mom?"

It's one word but it manages to break her heart, her son just sounds so lost. She embraces him again then, trying to comfort him the only way she knows how.

"Mr. Schue…he…" he mumbles into her shoulder, trailing off.

"I know honey, I know." She rocks him gently back and forth, "I know."

Kurt is so busy watching Carol and Finn that he doesn't notice his dad approaching him until he feels the hand on his shoulder. Kurt can't bring himself to look at his dad. "Is he really…is Mr. Schue really dead?" Kurt asks quietly with his eyes still trained on Carol and Finn.

"I'm so sorry Kurt," Burt tells his son, his voice thick with emotion.

Tears well up in Kurt's eyes then, he can't believe that this has happened. Mr. Schue was young and healthy and there should have been some warning or something. As the tears start to fall, Kurt turns and buries is head in his dad's shoulder.

As soon as Kurt turns, Burt wraps his arms around him, holding him tight. They stand like that for several minutes before Kurt pulls away, wiping at the tears on his face, he meets his dad's eyes. "Is Finn okay?"

Burt shakes his head sadly. "No…but we're going to make it better."

"How?" Kurt asks.

"I don't know kid," Burt responds truthfully, "but we'll figure it out." He puts his arm around Kurt's shoulder pulling him close. "Come on, let's take him home."

They walk together towards Finn and Carol.

xxxxxx

Sometime after they've been home a while, Kurt comes into the living room and finds Finn sitting on the couch just staring at the wall. Kurt can't help but think that for somebody so tall, he looks incredibly small.

"Hey," Kurt says trying not to startle Finn.

Finn looks over at him slowly. "Hey," he responds in monotone.

"The glee club is coming over," Kurt tells the other boy.

"Okay," Finn nods.

Kurt walks over and takes the seat beside Finn on the couch. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asks him.

Finn just shrugs. He doesn't really know. Maybe talking about it would help but he can't really bring himself to say out loud what it had felt like finding Mr. Schue like that. What it had felt like trying to perform CPR and having it not work. What it had felt like when he'd finally realized that Mr. Schue wasn't going to just miraculously wake up.

They sit in silence for a while before Finn finally speaks up. "I've never…" he starts, pausing before starting again. "No one I know has ever…" he trails off as the word 'died' catches in his throat, he can't bring himself to say it. "Well my dad, I guess, but I was a baby and I don't remember that." He sighs, knowing he's rambling but unable to stop. "I've never done this before."

Kurt's voice is quiet, almost pained, when he responds. "I have."

Finn turns and looks at him a minute trying to figure out what he means but then he remembers that Kurt was older when his mother died. "Was it sudden?" he asks. They'd never discussed Kurt's mother before, not really. Sure he knew Kurt had had one and she'd died and stuff but that was all he knew. "Your mom, I mean."

"No," Kurt shakes his head but then quickly adds, "and yes."

Finn looks at him curiously, not really understanding, but he doesn't say anything, just waits for the other boy to say something else.

"It's always sudden," Kurt explains. Loosing someone you love, someone close to you, there really isn't any preparing for that.

"I'm sorry," Finn tells him. If losing their teacher felt this bad, Finn can't imagine what it must have felt like to lose a parent and be able to understand what was going on.

"Me too," Kurt says softly, "me too."

Even though they're not really the touchy feely type, Kurt reaches over and places his hand on top of the hand that Finn has resting on the couch between them. Kurt doesn't show his surprise when Finn turns his hand over and interlocks their fingers, squeezing tightly, as if he's holding on for dear life. Kurt just squeezes back, if Finn needs a lifeline, he can be that for him.

xxxxxx

Santana pulls her car up in front of Rachel's house and looks over at Brittany. The blonde is staring absentmindedly out the window, seemingly completely lost in her own world. If you had told Santana earlier today that she would be voluntarily coming to Rachel Berry's house tonight she would have laughed in your face. If you had told her she would be willingly coming to Rachel's house to act as some kind of chauffer, she would have laughed even louder. It's funny how everything could change in an instant.

"You're double parked," Quinn informs her from the back seat.

"Whatever." Santana shrugs, looking back at the other girl. "I don't really care. They can give me a ticket, I don't care."

"So, what will we do?" Brittany asks suddenly, turning to look at Santana.

Santana looks at her, confused about what she's talking about. It's rare that she doesn't immediately know what Brittany's trying to say. "What do you mean B?"

"Tonight, what will we be expected to do?" She asks again.

"I don't know," Santana sighs, "Rachel's the one who talked to Kurt."

Brittany looks like she's going to ask something else but Quinn interrupts her. "We should probably go in."

"Right." Santana nods, getting out of the car and indicating for Brittany to follow suit. "Let's go in."

The three girls head up the steps to Rachel's front door. Santana rings the doorbell and then begins incessantly knocking until the door swings open. "You're not Rachel Berry," she smirks when they find Puck on the other side of door.

"Berry's having some kind of wardrobe freak out upstairs. I needed to get away from that, so, you know, I offered to answer the door." He just shrugs in response.

"I meant, what are you doing here?" Santana raises an eyebrow at him.

He doesn't take the bait. "Same thing as you, I think," he sighs putting his hands in his pockets and kicking at the floor. "Can you believe this?"

They are silent for a minute before Quinn speaks up.

"No," Quinn shakes her head, she can't, she really can't believe that Mr. Schue is gone. Against what would be her better judgment in any other situation she throws her arms around Puck and pretends not to notice the way he gulps as if he's trying not to cry and clings to her.

xxxxxx

Rachel's standing just outside of her closet holding up two shirts; one's a purple blouse, the other a reindeer sweater. Her eyes are red rimmed and she's obviously been crying recently. Mercedes is sitting on the bed watching her.

"What do you think? The purple, right? Cause it's somber, it should be something somber…" Rachel pauses for a second but she doesn't wait for Mercedes to answer her before she continues, "No, it's depressing, it's like I'm a funeral... guy." She shakes her head, no that won't work."

Rachel holds up the reindeer sweater for Mercedes to look at more carefully. "This is cheerier…maybe I want to be cheery, like everything is normal, but that's rude, it's disrespectful, la-la-la I don't care..."

"Rachel stop," Mercedes intervenes. "You're talking even more than you usually do. It doesn't matter what you wear, nobody cares." Seeing the look on Rachel's face she tries to be gentler. "Either one will be fine, I promise."

"If I had that blue one, Mr. Schue really liked the blue one, he told me one time...I can't figure out what I did with it." Rachel sighs.

"Rachel," Mercedes interrupts her again. "Really, it's okay." When she notices that Rachel seems on the verge of tears, she tries a different tactic. "Do you want me to help you look for the blue one?"

"No, I think... I should wear the purple, I think the purple, it's just that it's so, I don't know... it doesn't mean something bad?" Rachel asks.

Mercedes thinks a minute, how the heck is she supposed to know if purple means something bad, but then she remembers something. "I think it's royal. Purple means royalty."

Rachel throws her arms up in the air before letting them drop. "Well I can't see Finn when he's just…" she trails off not sure how to describe what Finn has just been through. "I can't see him and be all royal…like oh, I'm the king of everything, I'm better than you…" the volume of her voice is rising and she's becoming almost hysterical. "I have to be supportive, Finn needs me to..." tears start to well in her eyes and she wipes furiously at them. "Why do so many of my shirts have stupid things on them? Can't I dress like a grown up, can't I be...be a grown up..."

Mercedes gets up from her spot on the bed. This rant has gone on for far too long. She grabs Rachel arms, which are flailing about as she talks, and quiets her movement. "It's okay. He won't care what you're wearing, he'll just be glad we're there."

"I can't do this," Rachel declares.

Mercedes tells her with a certainty that she doesn't really feel, "sure you can girl. You're Rachel Berry, you're constantly telling us about all of the stuff you can do that we can't. You can do this."

"Right," Rachel nods. That's true, she's Rachel Berry. She can do anything. She can do this. She can be strong for Finn. She can be strong for the whole glee club. More than ever they're going to need a leader now that Mr. Schue isn't…she gulps. Strong, she reminds herself. "I think I'll put the purple one on."

She goes into the adjoining bathroom and gets changed. She comes back into her room just as the door swings open and Puck, Quinn, Santana, and Brittany come in. No one says anything for a while but Quinn finally breaks the silence, "so uh…how are you guys doing?"

Mercedes and Rachel both sigh but it's Mercedes who speaks up. "I just feel like I'm going to burst out crying any minute and not be able to stop, ever."

Quinn nods, "I know exactly what you mean." Moving to hug the other girl, just like she'd hugged Puck downstairs. For her, hugging seemed liked the appropriate thing to do, or at least it was the only thing she could think to do.

"Santana cried when we were at her house," Brittany speaks up, not noticing the 'shut up' glare that Santana shoots her way. "It was weird."

"Well," Rachel starts, looking away from Santana's gaze which seems to just be daring her to say something. "When people die, crying is an appropriate reaction. It's what we do."

Rachel's sure Santana is about to snap at her but instead Santana just asks. "So do we know what happened? What did Kurt say?"

"They're waiting for official word from the coroner but is sounds like a brain aneurism," Rachel tells them all.

"This is just so wrong," Puck shakes his head. He can't believe that Mr. Schue, the best man he has ever met, the only man to ever make him feel like he's worth something, is dead.

"What's going to happen?" Brittany asks, having never gotten an answer from Santana earlier.

"Kurt said we should come over to their house," Mercedes answers. Rachel had been the one to actually speak to Kurt but Mercedes had been there when he'd called.

"What else did Kurt say?" Quinn asks.

"Not a whole lot." Rachel answers, "I have to change," she decides, pulling another sweater from her closet and moving into the bathroom to get changed.

When she comes out Santana asks her, "Did Kurt say what caused it?"

"Caused it?" Rachel asks confused for a minute until she realizes that Santana is talking about what caused Mr. Schue to have an aneurism. "I don't think anything caused it, I think it just happened."

This isn't the answer that she's looking for. "Things don't happen…I mean they don't just happen! Somebody's..." Santana's fist clench and the volume in her voice progressively gets louder until she's shouting. "I mean somebody's gotta..." She doesn't know what else to say. If nothing caused it, then it couldn't have been prevented and that's too scary to think about. She needs something, someone to be angry with.

"Slugger you look ready to go two rounds," Puck puts his fists up, trying to lighten the mood. He understands Santana's need to have something to blame for what she's feeling now. "Want to go?"

Santana just sighs, shaking her head and relaxing her fists.

"I have to change again," Rachel declares, grabbing another sweater and leaving the tension in the room behind. She changes quickly and as she emerges, she catches the tail end of what Brittany is saying and she's at a loss for words. How does that girl come up with this stuff?

"Are we gonna see the body?" Brittany asks no one in particular, with her standard vacant expression firmly in place.

"What?" Puck responds first.

"Are we gonna be in the room with a dead body?" Brittany elaborates.

"I don't know," He shakes his head. "No. Okay?"

Quinn can tell that Puck is getting riled up and she tries to divert the conversation. "Should we wait a while before we go over? Give Finn some space?"

"I know what you mean," Mercedes answers her. "It's kind of a tough call but Kurt said we should come so I think we should go as soon as possible."

"Are they gonna cut the body open?" Brittany interjects with another seemingly random question, asking it to no one in particular.

"Oh my god will you shut your mouth? Just not open it please?" Rachel tells her, appalled.

"Hey," Santana warns, "leave her alone."

"No, she can't just…" Rachel crosses her arms in defiance. She turns to Brittany, "How can you act like that?" she asks exasperated, she wishes Brittany would just act like a normal person.

"What?" Brittany asks, clearly unsure of what she's done wrong.

"The way you behave…" Rachel starts.

"Guys…" Quinn tries to step in now.

"Am I supposed to be changing my clothes a lot, is that the helpful thing to do?" Brittany looks unspeakably confused about what is happening right now and she looks back and forth between Quinn, Santana, and Rachel as if she expects one of them to give her an answer.

"Do you even hear yourself speak?" Rachel asks the blonde.

"Guys…" Quinn says again, louder this time. If Rachel isn't careful, Santana is going to go crazy on her any minute.

"Well nobody will tell me…" Brittany doesn't understand why they won't just answer her questions.

"Because it's not okay for you to be asking these things!" Rachel yells at her now, she's just so frustrated with the blonde.

"But I don't understand," Brittany cries out, frustrated too, everything is just so confusing. "I don't understand how this all happens, how we go through this, I mean I knew him and then he's, there's just a body, I don't understand why he just can't get back in it and not be dead, it's stupid and… and stupid." She looks around the room, her eyes wild and desperate. Why won't anyone tell her what's going on?

Brittany chews nervously on her lip a minute, trying to sort it all out, before she continues. "Santana's crying and not talking and I was having fruit punch and I thought that Mr. Schue would never have any more fruit punch and he'd never sing, or yawn, or put on a sweater vest, not ever and no one will explain..." Tears well up in her eyes and they immediately start to fall. This is just like the time her gold fish died and they had to flush him down the toilet, only worse because her gold fish mostly ignored her but Mr. Schue talked to her all of the time.

Seeing Brittany falling apart Santana rushes forward and pulls the blonde into her arms, whispering soothingly into her ear while she continues to cry.

"I'm sorry Brittany," Rachel calls out quietly, feeling ashamed of herself. She should have known better than to get mad at Brittany. "We don't know how it works or why," she offers as way of explanation, figuring it really isn't fair to keep not answering the blonde's questions, even though she knows what she's said isn't a real answer.

Quinn stands back a moment, watching as Santana tries to get Brittany to stop crying, watching as Puck swipes at his eyes with the back of his hand, watching as Mercedes takes a seat as if standing is too much to take, and watching as what appears to be regret flits across Rachel's features. Eventually, Quinn walks towards Brittany and Santana, putting one arm on Santana's elbow to let her know she's there before starting to rub small soothing circles on Brittany's back.

After what feels like an eternity to Santana, Brittany's tears finally begin to subside. Seeing Brittany cry like that, seeing Brittany so confused, so much more confused than usual, Santana can feel something building in her chest that she can't describe, it's like something's crawling under her skin. She pulls back from Brittany, grateful when Quinn takes over holding Brittany so that she can walk away, she needs a minute.

Quinn doesn't question when Santana walks away, she just concentrates on the blonde still sniffling in her arms, or at least that is until she hears a loud smash from across the room. Brittany pulls away from her then and they both look for the source of the noise, finding it pretty easily. Santana's standing with her arm stuck in the wall that she's just punched.

"San," Brittany cries out, coming up beside her, "Where'd your hand go?"

Santana just shrugs, "Just some pent up aggression or whatever and some bad dry walling it would seem." She twists her head to look at Rachel. Normally she wouldn't apologize but today's been all about doing stuff she wouldn't usually do. "Sorry about your wall."

Rachel just shakes her head, she has bigger things to be concerned about today than a hole in her wall. "Is your hand okay?" She asks.

"Umm…yes," Santana shrugs again. "It's just kind of stuck."

"What if you had hit an electrical thing," Quinn chastises her, approaching and trying to help her get her arm out. "You're kind of stupid you know."

"Geesh…" Santana sighs, "I said I was sorry."

Puck approaches then, putting his hand on Quinn's arm, "Let me get her out." Quinn backs off and lets him take over. "You know," he tells Santana, "no one's going to believe that I'm not the one who punched something first. Maybe next time you want to blame the bed or at least something a little softer than a wall though, okay?"

Santana groans, "How many times do you guys want to hear me say I'm sorry?"

Puck finally manages to get her hand out of the wall and they all grimace at the damage, her knuckles are bleeding and her hand is already swelling.

"It hurts," Brittany comments, though it comes out more as a statement than a question.

"Ya, I guess," Santana says. What she doesn't say is that it doesn't hurt as bad as it does every time she remembers that she's never going to see Mr. Schue again.

"Do you have some bandages and stuff?" Quinn asks Rachel and Rachel nods going to retrieve them, glad to have something besides Mr. Schue to focus on.

Once they have Santana's hand cleaned and bandaged, Quinn addresses the group. "We should probably get going. I want to be there for Finn."

"Are we waiting for everyone else?" Mercedes asks.

"They're going to meet us there," Rachel answers.

"Okay then" Puck nods before adding, "Avengers got to get with the assembling."

xxxxxx

When Rachel, Mercedes, Puck, Quinn, Santana, and Brittany finally make it to Kurt and Finn's house the rest of the glee club is already there.

Kurt and Finn are still sitting beside each other on the couch. Mike and Tina are sharing a chair and they both look like they've been crying. Artie is sitting near them and he looks like he's been crying too. Sam, who's perched on the arm of the couch and fidgeting and drumming his fingers against his leg, is actually the only one of them who doesn't look like he's been crying recently.

Kurt stands up immediately when they walk into the room, coming over and hugging first Mercedes and then Rachel and Quinn. He hesitates only a moment before hugging Santana too, she doesn't seem to mind though. In fact, the hug lasts longer than any of the others, though that's mainly because Brittany decides to join in on it. When he finishes with the girls he ends up facing Puck awkwardly for a moment before the other boy throws his arms around him, squeezing tight, Kurt barely manages to contain his surprise.

Tina, Mike and Artie all come over then and the hugging is repeated. Sam comes too, though he mostly stands on the outskirts, accepting hugs from those who approach him but mostly just fidgeting. There's some whispered "I can't believe this happened," and "it's just so sudden," among the group but they're mostly quiet, probably a first for them.

Quinn is the first of the newly arrived group to approach Finn, who hasn't moved from the couch while they've all been consoling each other. She takes in the paleness of his skin and the way he is hunched over, as if he's trying to make himself small, and she feels her heart clench. She can't imagine what he's feeling, just finding out about Mr. Schue has been hard enough, she doesn't know what she would have done if she had been the one to find him.

"Hey," she whispers softly to him, putting her hand on his knee. When he meets her eyes she almost starts to cry but instead she just wraps her arms around him. "Whatever you need, I'm here okay."

Finn manages to nod in response. He appreciates everyone coming, he really does, he's just having a hard time concentrating. He tries to focus on what the others, who have taken Quinn's lead and come over, tell him as they hug him but, to be truthful, it all just sort of turns into a gobiligook mess of comforting words.

After each of the new comers has had a chance to offer their support to Finn, everyone finds a seat.

"What happened to your hand Santana?" Mike asks pointing to the girl's wrapped hand that he'd noticed earlier.

"She got into a fight with a wall, the wall kicked her butt," Puck grins but the grin immediately fades. It feels so wrong to be smiling.

"Wow…beaten by a wall, so much for your tough image," Sam chuckles but his laughter fades when no one else seems to join in. Truthfully, he hasn't fully grasped the gravity of the situation yet, it just doesn't make any sense to him. People don't die, not in high school, not just all of the sudden, it really just sounds like a bad movie plot, which is sort of in itself comical. Adding to that the mental imagine of Santana taking on a wall and he can't help but laugh.

"I wish Mr. Schue didn't die," Brittany's the one who breaks the awkward silence that has fallen over the group, "because he was nice and now everyone is sad." It's such a simple way of putting it but oh so very true and no one can really disagree.

Santana reaches over and takes Brittany's hand, squeezing gently. "I know Britt, me too."

"I just…" Tina's eyes well up with tears. "I just can't believe I'm never going to see him again."

"I know," Mercedes nods. "It's going to be so weird going to school and having him not be there."

Everyone agrees and Finn shudders on the couch. He doesn't want to think about having to go back into the school. He never wants to set foot in that choir room again. The room falls pretty silent after that.

"Maybe we should sing something," Rachel suggests when they've sat there in silence for a good period of time.

Most of the group give her looks like she's grown three heads but it's Kurt who speaks up. "I don't really think any of us are up for singing right now. It was an…err…nice suggestion though Rachel." He feels the need to be nice to her for some reason.

"What should we do then?" Rachel asks.

No one really has an answer. What are you supposed to do when your teacher, a person you all looked up to, dies suddenly? Is there a protocol for something like this? Are they supposed to just know what to do?

"This," Kurt finally offers the group. "We do just this. Just be here together. It's what he would have wanted."

xxxxxx

The funeral's scheduled for four days later, with visitation at the Funeral Home the day before. They go to the visitation together, the entire glee club. As they stand in the long line filled with students, parents, and teachers all waiting to pay their respects, they keep Finn squarely in the middle of the group, as if they're protecting him. He's been so quiet the last few days and they've all gone out of their way to do whatever they can for him. They know that today, having to see Mr. Schue in a casket, is going to be hard for all of them but that it will be especially hard for him.

"This is stupid," Santana grumbles, from her position at the front of the group with Brittany beside her. "What am I supposed to say to his parents anyway?"

"You could go with 'you don't have to worry I already took care of that wall that I'm sure is to blame for your son's death'," Puck offers.

Before Santana can respond, Rachel speaks up. "That's not really funny Noah," she chastises, glaring at both him and Sam, who's barely containing his laughter.

"Come on, it's sort of funny," Sam grins.

"It certainly is not," Rachel crosses her arms. "This isn't the place for childish jokes."

"Hey hobbit," Santana addresses the shorter girl. "I can fight my own battles thank you very much. I don't need your two cents…"

"Guys, stop it," Tina hisses from the back of the group and everyone quickly turns to look to her, she's not usually one to speak up and so they're all slightly shocked. "I know we're all on edge but can we just not fight? Mr. Schue would want…" she trails off, her eyes filling with tears.

Mike quickly wraps his arms around her, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head. "It's okay," he whispers to her, even though it sort of sounds like a lie to him.

"I'm sorry," Rachel says, meaning it. It's atypical of her to admit she's wrong but she knows that they really shouldn't be fighting, not now. Besides, she knows that everyone reacts differently to death. Now that some of the initial shock has worn off, she figures Puck and Santana are using humour and irritability respectively to cover up their feelings and Sam is, well he's Sam and, besides maybe Brittany, he's having the hardest time grasping the concept that Mr. Schue is actually gone, so it isn't really that odd that he's giggling inappropriately.

"Ya me too," Puck apologizes, he didn't mean to upset Tina, he just hates this, Funeral Home's give him major creeps.

Sam and Santana both nod in agreement and the group falls silent, everyone lost in their own thoughts.

They move a couple of steps ahead and Brittany breaks the silence. "I think I forgot the money." She looks worried.

"Umm…what money B?" Santana is the one who actually asks the question but everyone looks confused.

"To pay my respects," Brittany says, "I don't have the money. I won't get to see Mr. Schue." She looks slightly panicked at this thought.

"It's okay," Santana soothes, taking the blonde's hand and squeezing it. "You don't actually pay money when you pay your respects. It means that you tell his parents that you're sorry he died and stuff." She tries to provide the simplest explanation for the girl.

"Oh, okay." Brittany smiles at her, this answer seeming to calm her.

Fifteen more minutes pass in mostly silence before they're almost to the front of the line, almost to the open casket. As they near the casket, Finn shuffles his feet nervously and, after watching him a minute, Kurt reaches out and puts his hand on his step brother's arm. It's funny, before this week Kurt could count on his hands the number of times him and Finn had had physical contact, but in the last few days he's often found himself reaching a hand out to comfort Finn, the other boy always seems to calm at the contact. Sure enough, the shuffling stops a moment after Finn feel's Kurt's hand on his arm.

"You don't have to look," Kurt whispers to him, so that no one else can hear. "There's no shame in not looking."

Finn sighs, wondering how Kurt knows what he's thinking. He really doesn't want to see Mr. Schue again. He can remember the way the man had been sprawled lifelessly on the ground just fine without having to see the body again as a reminder. There's that word again, the body. It's all too much, much too much, to take. His eyes meet Kurt's and the other boy repeats again, "You don't have to look. Really, it's okay."

Finn doesn't do anything for a moment, just watches his step brother carefully, but finally he nods. He lets Kurt lead him to the back of the group, while the rest of the glee club approaches the casket.

As the rest of the glee club stands and look at what used to be their teacher, their reactions are mixed. Rachel, Mercedes, and Artie are freely crying. Quinn is stone faced. Santana is looking past the casket at a spot on the wall and she's holding Brittany's hand so tightly that all of her knuckles are white. Tina has her head buried in Mike's chest and he's rubbing soothing circles on her arm, though he can't seem to look away from the casket. Puck also seems to be unable to look away from the casket and he's fighting desperately to keep his tears from spilling over. Sam is bouncing from foot to foot.

After a couple of minutes pass, Sam gets a strange look on his face and he steps forward, closer to the casket, reaching his hand out. As it hovers over Mr. Schue's face he asks, "Is he cold?" to no one in particular.

Quinn shakes her head, putting her hand on his shoulder and trying to ease him away from the casket. "It's not him." He looks back at her and she says it again, quieter but more firmly. "It's not him. He's gone."

Sam doesn't say anything in response. It's Brittany who speaks up, the monotone of her voice making the impact of her question resonate even further. "But where'd he go?"

No one in the glee club has an answer to that and they're left standing there together in silence. Sometimes there really just aren't any words, aren't any answers, and it sucks.


End file.
